5 myths about lovemaking

A few years ago one could never think of mentioning the word sex in public as people would find it offensive and would consider you rude and out-of-order for mentioning such a 'dirty' word. So many persons, including adults, were taught that sex is nasty and dirty. Sex was referred to as 'nastiness' and adult novels were called 'nasty books'.

It would be to our detriment, were we still in that era where sex was taboo. Many of those who were taught that sex is dirty still find it difficult to attain sexual satisfaction and can never experience the joys of lovemaking.

What I find very interesting though, is the fact that although the 'dark' days of sex are said to be over and modern technology affords us the opportunity to view the labelled version of the human anatomy, many persons are still clueless about the body parts involved in the sexual process. As a result of this lack of knowledge there are many myths and misconceptions about lovemaking and many are still searching for the cistern that leads to happiness.

Here are five myths about lovemaking that I would not want you to hold as truths:

1. The clitoris is a magical tool: It is a widespread belief that once you play with the clitoris (the magic tool) a woman will become aroused. This is not true. If your timing is wrong and if your touch if off key (not gentle) you could play with the clitoris from now until eternity, and you would just waste precious time. Also, if the woman is not emotionally connected to you, forget it.

2. It is very difficult to turn a woman on: This is another myth that many believe to be true. Note that a woman who is loved and well cared for can become aroused even if her spouse is ten thousand miles away. Turning her on has more to do with how you relate to her on a daily basis. It has less to do with the things you are trying to do in the bedroom. If you treat her like a queen, you won't have to be trying to turn her on. She will be ready for her king when he needs her.

3. Foreplay is a must in lovemaking: This one might sound shocking to you but while foreplay is a very integral part of lovemaking there are times when one partner or both will opt to put it on hold. Couples who are well connected, deeply in love, and are hot and burning for each other will easily welcome the thought of after-play but not necessarily foreplay; especially if they have been away from each other for a very long time.

4. People should make love only in the dark: It is only because of culture and the fact that some people have inhibitions/hang-ups about their bodies why some people make love in the dark. It is only a myth that lovemaking is better in the dark. Lovemaking can be just as enjoyable in the day as in the night. Some people say they even prefer the daytime because they can see what they are doing.

5. Lovemaking and sex are synonyms: Lovemaking is not sex. A couple may make love without having sex, just as they can have sex without making love. Never believe that these two are synonyms; they are not.

Jacqueline Champier is a counselling psychologist from Mandeville.