Thursday, 17 May 2012

Don’t ‘romance without finance’

IF you are anywhere near my age, or let’s just say if your age is already off the calendar, chances are you will still remember the popular Gwen Guthrie song that says, “No romance without finance, you’ve got to have something if you want to be with me”.
What the songbird was really saying is that anyone interested in being with her, or anyone interested in romancing her, would have to also finance her lifestyle as well.

Maybe back in those days some of you blurted out the lyrics without giving consideration to what the artiste was saying, or maybe some of you thought the song was written for mere singing only. However, on a very serious note, would you be interested in a man who is interested in only romance when he is low on finance? I mean, if you are not in a position to finance him and he is only talking romance, how would that go down with you?
Before you begin to quote me out of context, let me just say I am referring mainly to those who are single and looking.
Well, you may or may not agree with the ‘no romance-no finance’ rule, but my take on the matter, especially for those who are thinking of making the bold step to tie the knot, is that if there is no finance, be careful. If you believe I am pulling my thoughts from the top of my hat, think again, or better yet, reason with those who have tried to romance without any source of finance and get the facts.
If you are aware that the three letter word, the one beginning with S, is now considered a physiological need, with other lower level needs such as love, belonging and safety, you might be thinking that romance should not be dependent on finance. Yes, romance entails much more than finance, and love is much more than money, but it still holds true that it takes cash to care and it can be risky and reckless to be making out on hungry bellies. I don’t really want to turn up this thing so let me just list three pointers for those who still believe in romance without finance.
1. You can become frustrated. When there are bills to pay and there is no money it will affect you emotionally and also physically. It can also interfere with your ability to concentrate and this will increase your stress level. Remember now, stress kills.
2. You can have a ‘financial breakdown’ if a child comes in the picture and you cannot afford basic items. When only adults are involved or experiencing the hunger pangs, that’s one story, but when children are affected, and you don’t have a ‘penny’, do you not think that’s evil?
3. Finally, it is irresponsible behaviour. You were ‘bought with a price, created in the image of God and your body is the temple of the Lord’, therefore everything that you do should be an act of praise. The God who made you is expecting you to be responsible and one way to be responsible is to take care of your finances first and conduct your affairs in a responsible manner.
Romance can wait. Older people used to say, “Romance not going anywhere, it is not running away” and if it could be finished it would be done before you were born. So, if you are convinced that you’ve found the one and there is a financial challenge, you can put the romance on hold and sort out yourself. What I am really saying right now is this — if you are thinking romance and there is no finance, think twice!
Jacqueline Champier, MSc, is a counselling psychologist from Mandeville.