OVER the years, one thing that has proven to help couples remain married is pre-marital counselling. Pre-marital counselling can help people to get in touch with their true selves and understand themselves better. It helps one to better understand the person they hope to marry and prepares the couple for what is to come with marriage.
It is unfortunate, however, that many persons set the date of the wedding even before beginning counselling. This should never be. Pre-marital counselling is to help the couple to objectively evaluate the decision to get married. It is a vital part of the preparation for marriage and therefore should be taken seriously.
It is during pre-marital counselling that issues such as roles and responsibilities, finance, sex, communication, and conflict resolution are discussed and masks are removed. Couples are encouraged to share their hopes and dreams, fears and anxieties, habits and practices and to look at the strengths and weaknesses in their relationships. This is in an effort to rightly evaluate their readiness for the marriage and the possibilities for its success. Much heartache could be prevented if more couples took the time to engage in pre-marital counselling.
Note that if you are already married and did not engage in pre-marital counselling, it can still prove beneficial to get counselling afterwards. Also, if you are thinking about getting married, I implore you to think seriously about engaging in pre-marital counselling because it can greatly increase the possibilities for success in marriage.
Jacqueline Champier is a counselling psychologist.