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Wednesday, 7 November 2012

He lies, he lies, he lies

He lies, he lies, he lies


HAVE you ever met a man who would rant and rave about his honesty -- about where he was or whom he was with — and although you didn't have any tangible proof, you could tell beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was fabricating the story? Have you met others, who even though they were lying, were capable of fooling you, because they were so good at it?
No fear, there are in fact psychological ways to detect lying lips for the next time you're caught listening to one of the fellows in group two. Here are some signs for lying men, and women too:

Body language: One good way to spot a liar is to watch the body language. You should not stare but you must be very quick. Look for things like stiffness in the body, too much calmness, fidgeting, the inability to keep still, or any kind of unnatural body movements. Without staring, make sure he/she knows that you are paying keen attention. A liar does not like to be observed and will become so uncomfortable that the lies are bound to come to light.
Voice quality: Listen keenly to the person's voice and try to find out if there is any trace of abnormality. Does the person sound the same as when he/she is talking normally? If you detect a pitch in the voice that is too high or too low, take note. When people are lying they answer questions very quickly and the voice may sound squeaky, too loud, or like that of another person.
Eye contact: It is widely known that when a person is lying they cannot look you straight in the eyes but seasonal liars will master the art of looking you in the eyes while lying. Anyway, forensic psychologists say that the eyes become much brighter when someone is lying and there is much more eye movement.
Speech pattern: Listen to hear if there are changes in the person's speech pattern. Listen if the person is speaking at a faster or slower speech rate than normal. Most importantly, listen for signs that he/she is searching for words or is stuttering unnecessarily.
Reactions: Look for jumping, jerking or sharp movements. One way to get at the truth is to bring up the subject matter at a time when the person would least expect you to, especially with the person's back turned. If you are telling the truth or if you share information that the person did not expect you to know, he/she may either jump or react frightened or surprised. If you act like you have not noted the frightened reactions, the person may still try to cover them up or will tend to start a barrage of never-ending explanations. Jerky reactions coupled with too-long explanations should cause you to think twice.
Use questioning: If there is one thing that a liar hates, it is to answer questions. No one likes to be interrogated, even if they are telling the truth. Notwithstanding, liars try to concentrate harder than those who are telling the truth but despite this, they don't always have the ability to remember their story and what they said earlier. They will tell you one thing at one time and something totally different at another time. You will notice too, that those who are lying will quickly follow your lead if you try to change the subject. If you change the subject and the person seems more relaxed, it could mean that earlier in the conversation you were being conned.
Note that the seasoned liar may be able to mask some of the signs. However, the occasional liar will give away something here or there. Remember too, that if you detect one or two of these signs, it does not necessarily mean that you are conversing with a liar, but a larger combination could be due to lying lips.
Jacqueline Champier is a counselling psychologist from Mandeville.