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Wednesday, 7 November 2012

When you say 'I do'

ASK any husband or wife about their wedding day and they will tell you of their many anxious moments, waiting to hear each other say the words, 'I Do'. When some people say 'I Do' they just mean that they take a particular man/woman to be their lawfully wedded husband/wife.
However, let me remind you that 'I Do' also entails the following:
* 'I Do' understand that marriage is hard work and it will only be successful if both of us are committed to making it work and last forever.
* 'I Do' understand that even after I am married, I will see other very attractive people but my commitment and my love will be reserved only for my spouse.
* 'I Do' understand that we will have disagreements but we will learn how to agree to disagree in a kind and loving way. No shouting, no slapping, no insults.
* 'I Do' understand that as a couple we will be responsible for creating the type of marriage that we want. What we get out of our marriage will be determined by what we put in. If we take the time to love and to cherish each other, to build lasting memories, to understand, to care for and to please each other, then our marriage can be a success.
* 'I Do' understand that in a marriage, the individuals are equal partners; no one should rule over the other. Both of us should give our input when important decisions are to be made.
* 'I Do' understand that people are not perfect and while we will not use this as an excuse to annoy each other, we will strive at all times to be the best that we can be.
* 'I Do' understand that marriage is a gift from God. The wife is a gift from God to the husband and the husband is a gift from God to the wife. Therefore, we will both love and cherish each other, and honour each other, as lawful wedded husband/wife, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as life shall last, until death do us part.
It is crucial that you think long and hard, weigh the pros and the cons carefully, and know and understand what you are getting into before you make that final step of standing before God and man and saying the words 'I Do'.
Jacqueline Champier is a counselling psychologist.