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Wednesday, 7 November 2012

How to keep the fire burning

How to keep the fire burning



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IN order for any love relationship to survive, there are some vital elements that cannot be overlooked or taken for granted, one such element is romance. Quite often, romantic fires don't keep burning by chance; they usually take lots of time, effort, fanning, planning, and yes, some creativity.
Relationship experts, sexologists and psychologists have been touting for years, that couples who want to keep the fire burning should make every effort to communicate well, engage in regular sexual activities and have proper control over their finances, since communication, sex and finance can be three troublesome areas in marital relationships.
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While I agree that these three areas can cause some amount of tension when they are not handled properly, I also believe that romance should be right there up on that list, as sex is different from romance and is crucial to the survival of love relationships. But like I often say, without creativity the fire shall perish.
It is true that many relationships perish not for lack of money, but for lack of creativity. However, I also believe that with some creativity and these three romantic ideas, some sparks could be ignited and some dying fires could start burning again.
1. Take lovemaking out of the bedroom. There is no rule that says the only place for loving is in the bedroom, why not consider some other rooms? Also remember that you have the outdoors. A good time to remember the outdoors is moonshine night, or if you don't mind getting wet, on a rainy night.
2. Make that fantasy a reality. When it comes to romance, lots of people have fantasies, but they refuse to share it with their partners. The only way to make your fantasy a reality is to share it. Your partner may just surprise you and give you the day and night of your life. Why not plan a fantasy revelation day, when all you do is reveal fantasies and have them fulfilled? Note though, if the fantasy is too much for you to bear and you are not able to fulfil all of it, you can make minor adjustments and try to see what you can do, before you run the risk of biting off more than you can chew. Before you reveal, you must know for sure that the revelation won't hurt you.
3. Host a romantic competition. Why not host a romantic competition where only two can enter -- you and your partner? In this competition, each person must take turns planning an evening of romance. Each partner should give a score out of 100 for the evening planned. Next, tally both scores. The person with the highest score should get to choose his/her gift. I don't think I need to tell you what type of gifts you should choose.
Look at it this way, one could suggest romantic ideas to keep the fire burning by telling you what to do with milk and honey, fruits, nuts, and vegetables, or what to do in the sea, train or in the aeroplane or even suggest that you climb Kilimanjaro right up to the peak, go skinny-dipping or bungee jumping; but that would defeat the purpose. What is important is not that you just make use of another person's ideas because your creative idea is the key. You will be more successful when you think about what would please you and your partner and then come up with your own creative ideas to suit your taste and style.
Whatever you do, please do not to be boring, because boredom and 'same old, same old' is a threat to marital fulfilment.
Jacqueline Champier is a counselling psychologist from Mandeville. Check out her website at www.issuesoftheheart.net.


Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/How-to-keep-the-fire-burning_7700125#ixzz2BYsjMkwe